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I have observed that there are basic factors that affect behaviour in children. Factors ranging from race, background, environment, upbringing etc. affect behavioural difference in children and are contributing factor to how one child differs from another. A great psychologist Jean Piaget whose work I am particularly engrossed with, claimed he can mould any child’s behaviour regardless of these factor, thus suggesting that children are born empty vessels and that every child is a product their immediate environment.

The issue of nature versus nurture is still an ongoing empirical study in psychology, and I personally lean towards nurturing than I do nature; I believe that every child is capable of greatness, however a lot of external factors contribute to whether or not such child becomes great or a nuisance to society. I agree with 96% of Piaget’s theories on child development and its effect on adulthood, however I also believe that there are some unique characteristics that a child is born with, if not how can one explain a three year olds constructive thought pattern, some kids are just born smart; but this is not the aim of this writing, I will expand on that some other time.


I am currently researching an additional factor that may also contribute to behavioural difference in not only children but a progression into adulthood; the birth position of a child and how it can affect behavioural pattern. These patterns progress into adulthood and in most cases manifest in relationships, leadership skills and personal choices. This is why some men/ women in relationship tend to unconsciously resume the role of a nurturer, while others are only used to receiving and find it some worth difficult to give or understand others even though they expect others to understand them.

The birth position is a huge determiner of behaviour children cultivate, especially in societies where children are exposed to abuse or denied the privilege of being a child. In Africa for instance, some children cater for their parents at a very tender age, children at aged twelve are bread winners to the whole family by hawking on the streets. These kinds of children are vulnerable and tend to go about life attracting people to nurture. This has a huge impact in their behaviour and outlook on life, its affects their self-esteem, relationships, confident and level of trust.

In the movie “riding in car with boys” Drew Barrymore’s character had a son at the age of sixteen and had to put her dreams on hold because of the pregnancy, due to the circumstance she felt a kind of resentment towards her son mainly because of his father and the son somehow at a very tend age started parenting his mother. For emphasis sake the boy wanted to go to university outside their small town, being an only child he felt the need to be responsible for his mother; he had a girlfriend who could not understand his need to be everything for everyone. What really struck me was even as an adult he carried on this pattern and always tailored everything to suit everyone but himself, towards the end he confronted his mother wanting to know why she was his responsibility and how he didn’t even have a childhood due to it. By the way this is a true life story.



I have met people who cannot receive compliment, make bad choices because they do not see themselves as deserving anything good, they always feel the need to fix things and people, they take responsibility for the wrongs others do. I recently met a young man about my age whose girlfriend was cheating on him and he was really taking responsibility for her actions. Whenever I come across people like this, I am particularly interested in their family background, upbringing and most importantly birth position.
For instance a first child tends to assume the responsibility of nourishing others, the in between children are more relaxed, rebellious and somewhat nonchalant ; this maybe due to the fact that not much is expected of them so they are usually engrossed in themselves and sometimes come across as selfish.

In balancing out birth position in child rearing I believe parent should always consider what position the child is and if such child has siblings. Parent must understand that children receive love differently depending on how they are wired and their birth position in a family unit, single parenting, adoption and so forth. Parent should create a balance of responsibility between the child and the parent. There are chores parent should not enforce on children; if you cannot take care for a child don’t have any, or have more than you can cater for and expect one of your children to play mother to their siblings. I am in no way implying that children should not be responsible for their young ones but it should by no means become the reason for their existence.

In conclusion birth position is vital when considering how best to raise any child.
This is just my opinion for that may not agree with my view whatever works for you is fine. Consider this as food for thoughts.

Rebecca