LOVE MAKES A DIFFERENCE
Love is not our only emotional need. Psycologists have observed
that among our basic needs are the need for security, self-worth,
significance. Love,however, interfaces with all of those.
If i feel loved by my spouse, i can relax, knowing that my lover
will do me no ill. I feel secure in his/her presence. I may face
many uncertainties in my vocation.I may have many enemies in
other areas of my life, but with my spouse i feel secure.
My sense of self-worth is fed by the fact that my spouse loves
me. After all, if he/she loves me, i must be worth loving. My
parents may have given me negative or mixed messages about my
worth, but my spouse knows me as an adult and loves me. His/her
love builds my self-esteem.
The need for significance is the emotional force behind most of
our behaviour. Life is driven by the desire for success. We want
our lives to count for something. We have our own idea of what it
means to be significant, and we work hard to reach our goals.
Feeling loved by a spouse enhances our sense of significance. We
reason, if someone loves me, i must have significance.
Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of
security in which we can seek answers to those things that
bothers us. In the security of love, a couple can discuss
differences without condemnation. Conflicts can be resolved. Two
people who are different can learn to live together in
harmony.
Toniasexy

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