Insider, Outsider: A meditation on life in America
By leoghana
Life can be unkind here, sometimes. So it is
everywhere else in the world, you may say. But in America, it is
especially. We come here, compared to other places, dreaming of
possibility. “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled
masses…,” the statue of liberty, beckons. Then we face
reality.
A double dose awaits the
African here. Ours is perhaps the most educated immigrant group
here. We come with B.A.’s and M.A.’s. We come clear-eyed; neither
naïve or misty-eyed about this place. It is not for sentiments
sake, we come. We do not come to admire the skyscrapers of
Manhattan or because we think America is
heaven.
There is a reason, we come.
Sometimes, we come because we are forced by circumstances,
economic or otherwise. At other times, we come because we are
escaping political repression and persecution. We come with knowledge of
America’s history: the disparities between the races; the soft,
subtle racism; the glaring inequality. But we come, regardless,
dreaming of a better life—lured by the mystique that is
America—disenchanted by the seeming hopelessness of the continent
we call home.
Our
Black American brothers and sisters look at us quizzically,
intrigued by our desire to succeed at all cost. Offended at our
nonchalance and apathy towards their struggle for equal rights;
and our willingness to ignore the slights of white America, they
become angry at us and view us with suspicion. “Slow your roll, Bro, they
warn us. We have
been here for 400 years! There is a thing or two we can teach you
about this place.”
But we brush them aside. Call them names. Criticize them, sometimes with reason; sometimes, out of context; sometimes, without regard to history. Lazy fools! Don’t want to work… Don’t want to be responsible… Don’t want to go to school…
Then
our enthusiasm meets jarring reality. As we climb up in the work
place and compete with whites, we become suddenly aware of our
“otherness.” Our
accents. Our differentness. Going through hell and high
water to get the almighty green card and citizenship, we quickly
discover that our citizenship is an oddity. We realize that on
government forms, there is not a category for us. In the mind of
the authorities, we simply do not exist. Polite society doesn’t know
what to make of us. We discover we are like an unwanted cousin; a
minority among minorities.
It
hurts but we cannot leave. We are here now. We have obligations.
Our children are here. The money we send home meets critical
needs. It pays school fees; it puts food on the table; it pays
hospital bills. We
can’t just get up and leave. That green card; that passport helps
a lot. It saves us
a hell of trouble. It saves us from the hassle of operating in
the shadows of society.
So we turn
inward. We start investing furiously at home; start building
something; start owning some property. We start following the
politics; we start contributing. We form ethnic and national
associations. We do charity work; we start sending critically
needed supplies home. But, we are not happy. “Why can’t society
accept us the way we are?” we ask.
“Who are you?” they ask, ever so subtly. “An African-American?” “An American-African?” “Where do you come from again?” they ask after we have lived for 40 years.
Leonard Quarshie is a freelance writer and a student at the University of Maryland, University College and can be reached at leoghana@gmail.com
NB: The article is based in part on the writer’s personal experience, his interactions with African Professionals in the U.S, and his observation of life in America.
