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Have you ever asked yourself what your greatest fears were?

As a kid my greatest fear was darkness, Oh my ……..…darkness used to give me the creeps; I used to have these scary and clueless imaginations that would really melt me down, the other thing I was afraid of as a kid was to be left alone and probably the idea of waking up and finding myself all alone in the house would really scare me.  I would wake up in a hurry and rush outside without even changing into some decent clothing and funny enough up to now when asked what was terrorizing me, I can’t answer that.  Lately have been questioning myself on what my greatest fears are and this weekend I decided to sit down and analyze them, surprisingly enough I realized that I have quite a number.   One of my greatest fear is commitment, believe it or not am afraid of commitment and for these reasons I have ended up breaking some wonderful hearts. Another fear that I have but I didn't realize till this weekend is the thought of having my own kids, I mean I love kids and almost everything about them there tenderness, sweetness, and the fact that they are just sweet, but as I was analyzing my fears I realized that I was afraid of having kids because of the idea that their entire life will depend on me.  The other fact that I raised is what if I decided to have them then later on I become a total failure as a mother. But those were what ifs.

The fear that kept me thinking for a while was one that I somehow manage to fight my fears then later on decide to settle down only to realize that the guy I have decided to settle down with is a professional heartbreaker …ouch that would hurt but do you know what would hurt most the fact that I have been left alone nursing my heartbreaks and probably by then I have like four kids, and with this statement another fear arose which is single parenting, not cool.

The other greatest fear that I have is death.  Dying without achieving any of my set goals/objectives, leave alone the set goals but the thought of death itself scares me, the idea of totally being out of touch with the living quite devastating, the thought of being lowered six fit under …alone very sad.

I asked one of my friends what her greatest fear was and she told me the thought of dying alone which is definitely true am also afraid of dying alone even though am so afraid of commitment.

The other greatest fear I have is………………….to be continued