Are you a wordsmith with a flair for writing interesting, witty dialogue? Do you feel you have got what it takes to write a hit series for TV to be shown in both U.K and Nigeria? Then here’s your chance! Enter for the Nollywood Writer’s Search Talent hunt and make your dreams come true! The Nollywood Writer’s Talent Search is a competition that seeks to find that writer that can write a 13-part drama series (30-minutes each) that will be shot and broadcasted in the UK and Nigeria. An underling storyline will be given and writers will be expected to write something good, engaging and entertaining, given this limitation. For more information log on to www.omediaproductions.com Nollywood Writers’ Search is a talent search run by O’ Media Productions, a Film and Television company based in the United Kingdom

Are you a wordsmith with a flair for writing interesting, witty dialogue? Do you feel you have got what it takes to write a hit series for TV to be shown in both U.K and Nigeria? Then here’s your chance! Enter for the Nollywood Writer’s Search Talent hunt and make your dreams come true! The Nollywood Writer’s Talent Search is a competition that seeks to find that writer that can write a 13-part drama series (30-minutes each) that will be shot and broadcasted in the UK and Nigeria. An underling storyline will be given and writers will be expected to write something good, engaging and entertaining, given this limitation. For more information log on to www.omediaproductions.com Nollywood Writers’ Search is a talent search run by O’ Media Productions, a Film and Television company based in the United Kingdom

If there is anyone that deserves an award for the Artiste-that-has-most-reinvented herself’ it has got to be Uche Jombo!  Uche has systematically worked her way up the hard, arduous road of fame and stardom, improving on her craft and losing a whole lot of weight in the process.  This multi-faceted actress is also a writer and has recently delved into producing films.  She is a Glo Ambassador and recently returned from Zimbabwe where she was a guest of the Zimbabwean Government.  www.nollywooduncut.com (NWU) tracked down this hard working star (where else?) on location and this was how it all went! Enjoy!

  NWU: Hi there Uche!

UJ:      Hi Bola! How’re you doing?

NWU: Very well thank you..let me first of all congratulate you on your weight loss!

(General laughter)

UJ:      Thank you!

NWU:  And youre looking va-va-voom! Care to spill the beans on why and how that happened?

UJ:  Well, I always knew I was a bit on the big side especially around the hips and when we would shoot I would look even bigger on screen so I took the decision to lose weight.  That apart, I also lost weight to be in character for a role in a movie where I play a cancer patient.

NWU: Oh really?  We’ll come to that later…. Word has gone out that you have been going behind the camera executive producing and co-producing movies..would you clear the air on that?

UJ:  Yes, I have executive-produced two movies to date..one is ‘Nollywood Hustler’ which we shot last year and is due for release very soon.  The other is the one we are shooting right now, ‘Holding Hope’ but Im doing that in collaboration with my colleagues, Emem Isong and Desmond Elliot.

NWU:  That’s the one where you play a cancer patient right?

UJ:   Yes.

NWU:  What’s the difference between producing and executive producing?

UJ: Executive producing merely means you are the one bankrolling the film and producing is when you actually get things done like hire the director, cast, crew and generally make sure the production is going on.

NWU:  There seems to be a new trend with actors and actresses these days executive producing films… first there was Stephanie Okereke with her film ‘Through the Glass’ Desmond Elliot co-producing ‘Reloaded’, ‘Before the Light’ and ‘Guilty Pleasures’ and even this film you’re shooting and Ini Edo producing her yet-unreleased film ‘Memories of my heart’.  What is going on?

(General laughter)

UJ:   Well, I can’t speak for my colleagues but I can say that it’s more about me evolving and wanting to empower myself.  Apart from being an actress, I also write scripts and when I would write and sell to some producers, may be due to financial constraints or plain not understanding the story they would end up spoiling it…at least my vision for it so I decided that the next time I have a story close to my heart, I would bank-roll and produce it.

NWU:  And what has the experience been like?

UJ:  Hectic as you can see!

NWU:  Tell us about this film you’re currently shooting… ‘Holding Hope’.

UJ:  It’s a beautiful story…a story about love, one’s faith, life and about cancer.

NWU:  Why cancer?

UJ:  Hmm… I was recently on a flight from Addis Ababa (Ethiopia) to Harare (Zimbabwe) and I met a cancer survivor.  We got talking and she told me her story about surviving breast cancer.  Of all the things she said, what stood out for me was how she was able to live and face life with just one breast. She said she knew her husband loved her but she was apprehensive because he was a man that like physical beauty too but they were able to cope with that.

NWU:  So did you shoot the movie about her life?

UJ:  No..but it was part of the inspiration for the film.  I say this is a lucky script because all the elements that were favourable to it, came together. Coincidentally, when I got back to Lagos and was chatting with my friend (Producer) Emem Isong she said she had just read a sad story about a lady with cancer and wanted to combine it with a script she had had for ages on domestic violence. So I came over to her place and she, her sister Uduak Isong Oguamanam and I plotted the story for this film which we titled ‘Holding Hope’.  When we finished we knew we had a winner. Infact Emem said if people don’t scream, laugh and cry during this film that it is pointless.  You definately leave with something having touched you.

NWU:  So it’s a tear-jerker?

UJ: Absolutely!

For the rest of the interview go to www.nollywooduncut.com

It was an evening of glamour, glitz and magic when there stars came out to grace the occasion of the double premiere of two movies, 'Guilty Pleasures' and 'Nollywood Hustlers'. 

SilverBird Galleria which was already busy due to the Sallah Holidays, experienced even more of a deluge of people as stars, starlets, musicians and those from the business community came to enjoy an evening of fun, laughter and great movie viewing.

The organizers/producers of the films Emem Isong, Uche Jombo and Desmond Elliot could not contain their delight at the turn out. Speaking to Emem, she said, 'Im so delighted! We couldnt have asked for anything more'. The attendance read like a roll call in the entertainment industry; Stephanie Okereke, Ini Edo, Mona Lisa Chinda, Desmond Elliot, Lilian Bach, Nse Ikpe Etim, Majid Michel, Omoni Oboli, Charles Novia, Zik Zulu Okafor, Fred Amata, Empress Njamah, Sasha, Yaw of Wazobia FM, Emem Ema formerly of Kush to mention just a few. The event started with a parade on the red carpet by the stars, interviews with various media including DSTV's Africa Magic, gisting over cocktails and small chops then at 7pm, guests were ushered upstairs to Cinema 4 for the screening of the movies.

In a few minutes the place became jam-packed as guests filled there room. There was no sitting space and many had to resort to standing. All discomfort if any, was soon forgotten as the movies started. The audience laughed and held their sides as the actors did their thing in the hilarious comedy, 'Nollywood Hustlers'. Then it was time for 'Guilty Pleasures' and a hush fell over the audience. It started simply and slowly enough but began to build up, as the audience went on a rollercoaster ride ending in shouts as the actors took them through emotions that were as extreme as they were intense.

The show ended to thunderous applause, with many wiping their eyes and shaking their heads at the emotional ending. Several congratulated the producers, directors, actors and actresses especially Nse Ikpe-Etim (who by the way, was looking divine) and a bearded Majid Michel (who came all the way from Ghana) for the premiere. Overall it was a good show! Big ups to the organizers!

for more info and pics check out whatsgwan.blogspot.com,bellanaija.com, gistmasters.com

 

The wind of change continues to blow over Nollywood as more and more professionals are crossing over to swell its ranks. The latest entrant is Chisom Oz-lee, a pretty up-coming U.S based producer/actress. She was in the country recently to shoot a new film starring Ramsey Nouah, Uche Jombo and Mona Lisa Chinda. I had a few words with her and this is what went down.
BA: Hi Chisom!
C: Hi Bola, how you doin’?
BA: Fine…for the benefit of those who don’t know you, can you please introduce yourself to us?
C: Well, I’m Chisom Oz-lee, a Nigerian based in the U.S. I’m a film producer and actress by calling and a professional registered nurse by training.
BA: Hmm…interesting combination. How do you manage both nursing and film producing?
C: Quite easily. I produce films about once a year and work regularly as a nurse for the remaining part. That’s what I do for a living.
BA: Why the romance with film making? Why not just stick to nursing?
C: Nursing is a job but film making is a passion. I also combine it with acting…. I have been acting since my secondary school … even while in I was in UNN studying English. I took part in a lot of drama programmes.
BA: Is this the first film you have ever produced? The one you are currently shooting?
C: No its not. In 2006, I produced ‘In a Stranger’s Arms’ starring Desmond Elliot, Kalu Ikeagwu and myself. Then in 2008, I produced ‘Lost Maiden’ which starred Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde, Bimbo Akintola and Kalu Ikeagwu.
BA: Kalu again!....you seem to like making use of him a lot…I mean in your films.
C: (laughs) Yes, I like Kalu…. I mean, I like his acting and I would have used him again, in this new movie I’m doing but I decided to opt for variety.
BA: He’s single y’know…
C: So?
BA: Maybe you two could hook up?
C: What ARE you saying?! (General laughter) Bola, behave yourself!
BA: Don’t mind me.. I like to have fun with my interviewees…
C: No problem… just make sure you get the facts right.
BA: So are you single? By the way has anybody told you… you look a lot like Lil’ Kim
C: Yes they have and I take it as a compliment and Yes, I’m but not searching.
BA: What if others are …. searching?
C: Can we get on with the interview please…this is getting…uncomfortable (general laughter).
BA: Okay, back to your projects…. Tell us about ‘Lost Maiden; your last film.
C: ‘Lost Maiden’ is something Im very passionate about. It talks about the scourge of female circumcision.
BA: Tell me more.
C: As a nurse in the U.S. I have seen a lot of cases. Even those of circumcision.
BA: Of Americans?
C: No, ofcourse not. The women I saw, were living in America but came from other countries like Egypt, Senegal and one was from Nigeria. Their cases were pretty pathetic, I tell you.
BA: Im listening…
C: Im going to get rather graphic here….
BA: Go ahead…if it can save a life or sensitize people, the better…
C: Okay, there are actually different types of circumcision; there’s the one where just the clitoris of the woman is cut off. Then there’s the one where the clitoris, labia minora are cut off. Mind you this is done without any anesthesia, and in very unsanitary conditions. Also cut are tissues, nerves….
BA: Whaaaat! Chisom, abeg e don do!
C: You have heard anything yet…. After this is done, the woman is then sewn up crudely leaving only a little space for her to urinate. She is only opened on her wedding night by her husband. What then happens is that scar tissue forms and makes birth very difficult and painful because there is no more elasticity for that place to stretch when the woman is giving birth.
BA: This affects child birth, right?
C: Definitely! When the woman gets pregnant and wants to deliver, complications arise because the baby can’t come out on time, gets distressed and dies. Sometimes she dies too..
BA: But why is it done at all?
C: They say to curb the sexuality of the woman…
BA: And this is still being practiced?
C: Yes… even in this country so I decided to do a film about it called ‘Lost Maiden’ to educate people on the dangers of the practice.
BA: Hmmm… this is heavy stuff…so when is the film going to be released?
C: It has been released in the U.S but it will be released in Nigeria soon.
BA: Thanks for chatting with me Chisom. I wish you the best in this crusade again female circumcision.
C: Thank you.  

Few months after recording a resounding success with When The Heart Lies, leading female filmmaker and honcho of Purple Pine Productions, Vivian Ejike, is set again to hit the local and international movie scenes with another box office.


Entitled Silent Scandal, the thought provoking flick, according to cerebral Vivian, would be released on VCD and DVD soon in Nigeria, Europe, US and the rest of Africa.

The dramatic love story that revolves around the hidden and triangular love lives of a strict mother, her spoilt daughter and an indigent ‘playboy,’ has top actress, Genevieve Nnaji, as the lead act. Uche Jombo, Ebele Okaro, Ghanaian import –Michael Majid and a host of other emerging acts.

Shedding more light, pretty Ejike, who just returned from the UK where she went to tidy up some movie-related deals, disclosed that Silent Scandal was painstakingly shot with hi-tech production equipment and thoroughly manned by tested professionals within and outside Nigeria.

“It’s a contemporary movie that will blow away the minds of movie buffs. It’s also an emotional story, where a mother and her only daughter, unknowingly, are torn apart by the true love and lust of an indigent young man. Silent Scandal is full of intrigues and suspense from start-to-finish. With all sense of modesty, it’s another plus for Nollywood, especially now that the nation is preaching the gospel of re-branding.

We believe so much in quality films and productions at Purple Pine and that is what this movie stands for,” disclosed Vivian, a former top banker.

The movie, which was directed by a Nigerian filmmaker based in Los Angeles, US, also featured a live Fashion Show by award winning designer, Zizi Cardow and her leggy models.

Gathered that Cardow’s cameo appearance in the fast-paced movie was well applauded by the cast and crew.
Aside producing and financing the big budget project, Vivian, with over 13 years experience in Nollywood, also wrote and screen played the forthcoming movie

Adaora Ukoh makes no qualms about her size; ‘I’m deliciously big,’ she says with a cheerful grin.   Adaora hit the big screen with a movie titled Black Bra some years ago. She was making a comeback to the industry she had left behind to pursue a degree in law. The movie enjoyed rave reviews and the actress was happy to be back on the scene.

But then, there came grave silence, and Adaora was certain it had to do with her size. ‘Not too many producers are keen on working with plus-size actresses,’ she complains, ‘we are generally neglected because they aren’t creative enough to find suitable roles for people like me.’

There’s still the worry of being stereotyped, as a plus-size, in the industry. ‘I get only certain kinds of roles that are hardly challenging; but you play along because of the love you have for the job.’ But Adaora comes with impressive talent; her roles of an angry sister, a crazy girlfriend, and mother or an aunt truly limit her flair and versatility.

‘I’m looking for something new, something fresh off the baker’s oven!’ She’s looking no further than being a part of Next Nollywood. ‘I watch movies like 30 Days, Figurine, and there’s a need to want to join the train.’  Her trite years in the industry might be coming to an end soon as she is keen on re-branding her worth. ‘It’s not just about being a good actress; it’s taking it a step higher and building on the brand that you have become. I am interested in that.’ 

We remember Adaora, in her first Nollywood appearance many years ago. She was only a teenager but she managed to carry a wifely role in the movie Karashika well enough. At just 17 she was a remarkable talent, and a plus size beauty. Another prominent character followed afterwards in Cursed from Beyond where she starred alongside Regina Askia. 

Interestingly, Adaora represents a large number of Nigerian women. ‘Everywhere you look we have confident plus-size women excelling in different industries.’ And the question remains; why should Nollywood be any different?  As she sips a glass of mango juice at a bar, she meditates on the success of Hollywood stars like Queen Latifah who’s gone ahead to conquer the industry over there regardless of her size. ‘She probably would have been looked over if she were here in Nollywood,’ Adaora states.

Adaora is hopeful as she looks forward to playing versatile roles, just so it can be known that a big girl can interpret whatever role she’s given. ‘It’s been a slow year for me; maybe it has to do with recession,’ she adds, shrugs and sips from her glass. 

As she looks forward to a new year; Adaora has her fingers dipped in many pies. ‘As we speak, I’ve recorded over 12 episodes of my talk show – Diva Dynasty.’ Diva Dynasty is a TV concept focusing on women. Ms. Ukoh is going all the way to empower women and youths; and giving them a platform to share, inspire and grow. 

If it sounds cliché, it probably is, but Adaora quickly defends her concept; ‘It’s different because we make it a show that gives all access to the icon under study. It’s not shot in a studio; what we do is pay a visit, lean on the couch, look through family pictures, and get the guest talking.’ 

The show takes one busy day out of an iconic woman’s schedule and asks all there is to know. She is looking at February for kick-off of the first season on DSTV and terrestrial TV. ‘I’ve interviewed inspiring women like Joke Silva and Tara Fela-Durotoye…’

You might wonder why she is dabbling into TV as a Talk-show host; ‘someone believed in me,’ she says. ‘They had a concept, had the funds and sponsors; they wanted a host, so they approached me. I thought it would be a good way to leverage on my brand.’ She is keeping her fingers crossed on the acceptability of the show and praying she becomes just as good as Oprah. 

There’s just another part of Adaora that might put a smile on the faces of her fans; most of whom are just as big as her, or are inspired by her size. ‘I’m floating a fashion label soon,’ she enthuses. Her cheeks blossom in delight as she shares her thoughts on what she plans to call – Adaora Couture. 

‘The plus size women are holding the short end of a stick in a society fraught with super-slim models on the runway and in boardrooms. With my fashion line I just want to make one thing clear – big can be sexy, cool, and hot!’  We have no doubt she’d pull that one remarkably well. ‘Adaora Couture deals with fabrics that are flattering on plus-size women. We lean towards comfort with a touch of class.’

She vows with a happy grin that the clothes from her line will be reasonably priced without compromising on quality.

‘We’ll have a one-on-one relationship with clients,’ she says as she chips in the bit of the couture line being in collaboration with a friend.  She seems quite ready for the challenges ahead. ‘I love to multi task,’ she beams proudly. So next year is definitely an Adaora year! She’s determined to make it so as she battles to fight back a bit of her reputation from the hands of inept journalists.

‘I haven’t had a good year with the press,’ she confesses. From blatant lies to calculating propaganda Adaora has been accused many times of being a sex-craved actress, something she has had to defend over and again. ‘I get interviewed only for me to pick the paper up the following week and realise my utterances have been twisted to suit the mind of a disturbed writer. It’s sickening!’ 

One that urgently comes to mind is a headline screaming at the top of it lungs:  ‘I want people to see me and get turned on.’ 

‘I never said that,’ Adaora states, ‘the writer’s warped mind came up with that, not me. They just want to sell by all cost, so we are only preys in the hands of some of these journalists.’ This, however, is sadly true. 

The interview gradually winds to an end as Adaora is ready to hit the gym; her black-striped sneakers bounce stylishly on her feet and her black combo looks just as sporty as her craving.

‘I want to lose some weight. I will never be a size 8; but I need to lose some for health reasons.’ I quickly ask the familiar question; ‘any man in the picture?’ She laughs shyly and shakes her head. ‘No man. It’s by choice really. I’m trying to focus on my career…’ We’ve heard that too many times, haven’t we? But she adds, as if reading my thoughts; ‘I have no problem with falling in love; but you have to wait for the right one. He doesn’t have to be perfect; just right for me.’ 

- Joy Isi Bewaji

Joy Isi Bewaji interviewed Nollywood Actress Adaora Ukoh on October 21, 2009 at the popular swanky spot Swe Bar in Lagos, Nigeria. Adaora has starred in such Nollywood hits as Black Bra, Supremacy, Only Love and Total Control

- Administrator

 

 
Multi-talented Uche Jombo makes production debut with star-studded‘Nollywood Hustler’

Posted on Friday, September 11th, 2009 at 7:25 pm

By Bella www.bellanaija.comShe’s known as an actress but Uche Jombo has many titles to her name – she is a mathematician/statistician, actress, screenwriter and now you can add producer to that list! Uche is making her production debut with the movie – Nollywood Hustler which she also stars in. The movie is co-produced by ‘Games Men Play’ producer Emem Isong and directed by Moses Inyang.

http://www.tansali.com/members/profile/83/pictures/4522/2

Nollywood Hustler takes a comedic look at Nollywood; the real stars and the wannabes. This star-studded movie stars Ramsey Nouah, Monalisa Chinda and Lancelot Imasuen acting as fictionalized versions of themselves. Charles Inojie stars as the wannabe producer and Uche Jombo as the wannabe actress. With the supporting cast including talented actors Ejike Asiegbu, Susan Peters and Bishop Ime.

At the links below you can find photos from the set of the movie including a scene from the movie which recreates a red carpet event tagged ‘Celebrities Give Back’ with real celebrities walking down the carpet as themselves and talking about their projects and the act of giving back.

These celebs included Genevieve Nnaji, Ini Edo-Ehiagwina, Ngozi Ezeonu, Kalu Ikeagwu, Muma Gee, Zik Zulu Okafor, Vivian Ejike, musical duo Bracket, Kevin Luciano of Questionmark Entertainment, rapper Sasha and Julie of WOW magazine.

This movie takes a swipe at nollywood top players and wanna-bees.it tells the real story of the actors' successes,failures and the'almost got there' syndrome. with the real A-list stars playing themselves in this about to be released flick.

An event in the movie tagged 'celebrities give back' shows the real celebrities walk on the red carpet as they are cheered on by their real-life fans. amongst those to look out for in this move include geneveieve nnaji, ini edo-ehiagwina, sasha, daniigaraw, ngozi ezeonu, kalu ikeagwu, ufuoma ejenebor, muma-gee, omoni oboli,b lessing effiom-egberukky sanda,uche iwuji,zik zulu,kevin luciano gabriel,vivian ejike(producer), righteousman,lancelot imaseun,uche jombo, monalisa chinda, ramsey nouah. this movie takes a look at the funny side of happenings in nollywood.

Director of this movie is moses ewang, producers include uche jombo and emem isong. Executive producer is uche jombo.

It will blow your mind. It is a brilliant script and whoever wrote the story deserve a pat on the back-enjoy the pictures. note: all the celebs mentioned are playing as themselves with their real names in the movie.

Watch out for this one .............

For pictures click on link below and click on next

http://www.tansali.com/members/profile/83/pictures/4522/2

 

 

tansali papapparazzi is an african entertainment social networking site focused on celebrating and highlighting the best of africa.

tansali provides african entertainment news in real time, gossip on Nollywood and Gollywood (the Nigerian and Ghanian movie sectors), latest african music, video chat, forums, magazine, a collection of relevant video's, latest paparazzi photos of african celebrities and gossip.

The tansali mission statement is to provide a platform that makes it possiible for Africans in Africa, Africans in Diaspora, Afro Carribeans, Black Americans and all other like minded individuals to collaborate, share and celebrate the best that Africa has to offer in the entertainment sector.

the name tansali was coined from the first or second letters of some of the major rivers or lakes in africa.

Source:

http://www.pressbox.co.uk/detailed/Entertainment/www.tansali.com_-_African_Entertainment_Social_Networking_Website_367427.html

 

6.              THE BIBLE ANSWER
                             A minister parked his car ina no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note, "I've circled this block for 10 years, If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."

7.               SATAN
                             A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving. So satan walked up to the man and said, do you know who I am? The man replied, Yep, sure do. Aren't you afraid of me? satan asked. Nope, sure ain't. said the man. More than perturbed, satan asked, why aren't you afraid of me? The man calmly replied, Been married to your sister for 18 years.

8.              HOSPITAL BILLS
                           A man was brought to Mercy hospital, and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy who was waiting by his bed. We do need to know, however, how do you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance, pay in cash or have any relatives to pay the bill. Just my sister in New Mexico who is a spinster nun. Oh, I must correct you, Mr Smith. Nuns are not spinsters; they are married to God. Wonderful, said Smith. In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.

9.                REARRANGE THE LETTERS
           
              DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM
              PRESBYTERIAN = BEST IN PRAYER
              ASTRONOMER = MOON STARER
              DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT
              THE EYES = THEY SEE
              GEORGE BUSH = HE BUGS GORE
              THE MORSE CODE = HERE COMES DOTS
              SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME
              ANIMOSITY = IS NO AMITY
              ELECTION RESULTS = LIES- LET'S RECOUNT 
              SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
              A DECIMAL POINT = I'M A DOT IN PLACE
              THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE
              ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE
              MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER

10.                  RIDDLES
             
               Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
               A. German Shepherds.
               Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
               A. Snowflakes.
               Q. Who designed Noah's ark?
               A. An architect.
               Q. Who is the fastest runner in history?
               A. Adam - because he was the first in the human race.
               Q. Who was the best actor in the bible?
               A. Samson, he brought the house down!
               Q. Why are there no Christians in heaven yet?
               A. Because they are still at the gates, saying to each other: "After     you", "No, I insist after you..." 
               Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
               A. Regular rocks are too heavy.
               Q. Why shouldn't you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
               A. It might crack up!
               Q. How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
               A. Lots of eggs-ercise!