Nov
7th
WHAT SOME WOMEN SUFFER.
By chayoma
there
are lots of issues which have to do with women & children,
when it comes to ill-treatment, battery, abuse,
enslavery & de-humanisation. it is not
that some men do not suffer some of these but
in the society which i am ( NIGERIA), women are
mostly relegated to the back sit, most times they are subjected to
all kinds of dehumanizing conditions. that's why the likes of
Stella damascus, Kate henshew-Nuttall & the rest are fighting
for the cause of women.
mrs nkwuocha, is a mother of four kids, she works with an advertising firm, she foots the bill of the family, her husband having lost his job five years ago, refused to find another job, his wife, mrs nkwuocha has gotten him three different jobs in the past but each time he refuses to accept it & gives one flimsy excuse or the other, he doesn't want to work & depends heavily on his wife's salary, waiting for the month end, when he will demand some money from the wife, some occasions when the wife doesn't give in to his demands, he beats her to a pulp.
on many occasions mrs nkwuocha has been rushed to the hospital after he had beaten her to the point of death & this has been going on for over four years, her children have all gotten used to their father's brutal battery of their mother & they only cringe at their father's presence, crying, each time he batters their mother, what could they do, their ages are between four & ten. mrs nkwuocha's brothers had intervened in the past but when their sister refused to seek for a divorce from her husband, they left her & went their way. mrs nkwuocha had said she could not leave her kids because her husband had warned her that if she wanted to leave she could go but not with any of his kids or he would trace her wherever she could be & cut her into pieces. mrs nkwuocha has become her husband's punching bag & she had stayed, enduring all the abuse.
Hauwa is from the northern part of nigeria, she was abandoned by her husband when she gave birth to their first child & developed vesico-vaginal fistula ( vvf). hauwa got married before she was 15 years old & gave birth when she was not fully developed to carry a child in her under-developed womb, this resulted to vesico-vaginal fistula syndrome, this is an abnormal fistulous tract extending between the bladder & the vagina, that allows the continous involuntary discharge of urine into the vaginal vault & which has a profound emotional effect on the patient. hauwa releases urine uncontrollably, which gives her surroundings an unpleasant odour, her husband that put her in that condition couldn't stand the constant unpleasant odour in his surrounding, packed his bag one day & left hauwa to her plight.
mrs dopemu has been married for the past three years with two kids for her husband, though she has a wealthy husband, she doesn't have peace in her marriage. it started few months after her wedding, her husband had come home one night from work with a very pretty lady whom he introduced casually to the wife & informed her that she should make up the guest room & sleep there that he would use their matrimonial bedroom with his guest for the night, mrs dopemu thought her husband was drunk but eventually she realised he was dead serious, she slept in the guest room, leaving her husband & the stranger to sleep in her matrimonial bed.
her husband, mr dopemu brings his girl friends to their matrimonial home & anytime he comes home with any of his girl friend, she will sleep in the guest room leaving her matrimonial bed for her husband & his guest. the day she tried to talk to the husband about this issue, he shouted down on her & told her she should thank God that he only brings them to sleep over & go the next day, that he could decide as well to marry any of them but he prefers the present arrangement & that she should take it that way or go back to her poverty stricken family, mrs dopemu though does not wish for this she has been coping just to remain married to her husband.
you may think this is a made up story but i stand to let you know that some women are trully passing through these conditions & it is an everyday occurance. the only advice i'd give to these women is that, any thing that causes you anguise & misery, no matter what that thing is, it's not worth risking your health & life for, please find the courage to pull out & start life again, it's never too late.
mrs nkwuocha, is a mother of four kids, she works with an advertising firm, she foots the bill of the family, her husband having lost his job five years ago, refused to find another job, his wife, mrs nkwuocha has gotten him three different jobs in the past but each time he refuses to accept it & gives one flimsy excuse or the other, he doesn't want to work & depends heavily on his wife's salary, waiting for the month end, when he will demand some money from the wife, some occasions when the wife doesn't give in to his demands, he beats her to a pulp.
on many occasions mrs nkwuocha has been rushed to the hospital after he had beaten her to the point of death & this has been going on for over four years, her children have all gotten used to their father's brutal battery of their mother & they only cringe at their father's presence, crying, each time he batters their mother, what could they do, their ages are between four & ten. mrs nkwuocha's brothers had intervened in the past but when their sister refused to seek for a divorce from her husband, they left her & went their way. mrs nkwuocha had said she could not leave her kids because her husband had warned her that if she wanted to leave she could go but not with any of his kids or he would trace her wherever she could be & cut her into pieces. mrs nkwuocha has become her husband's punching bag & she had stayed, enduring all the abuse.
Hauwa is from the northern part of nigeria, she was abandoned by her husband when she gave birth to their first child & developed vesico-vaginal fistula ( vvf). hauwa got married before she was 15 years old & gave birth when she was not fully developed to carry a child in her under-developed womb, this resulted to vesico-vaginal fistula syndrome, this is an abnormal fistulous tract extending between the bladder & the vagina, that allows the continous involuntary discharge of urine into the vaginal vault & which has a profound emotional effect on the patient. hauwa releases urine uncontrollably, which gives her surroundings an unpleasant odour, her husband that put her in that condition couldn't stand the constant unpleasant odour in his surrounding, packed his bag one day & left hauwa to her plight.
mrs dopemu has been married for the past three years with two kids for her husband, though she has a wealthy husband, she doesn't have peace in her marriage. it started few months after her wedding, her husband had come home one night from work with a very pretty lady whom he introduced casually to the wife & informed her that she should make up the guest room & sleep there that he would use their matrimonial bedroom with his guest for the night, mrs dopemu thought her husband was drunk but eventually she realised he was dead serious, she slept in the guest room, leaving her husband & the stranger to sleep in her matrimonial bed.
her husband, mr dopemu brings his girl friends to their matrimonial home & anytime he comes home with any of his girl friend, she will sleep in the guest room leaving her matrimonial bed for her husband & his guest. the day she tried to talk to the husband about this issue, he shouted down on her & told her she should thank God that he only brings them to sleep over & go the next day, that he could decide as well to marry any of them but he prefers the present arrangement & that she should take it that way or go back to her poverty stricken family, mrs dopemu though does not wish for this she has been coping just to remain married to her husband.
you may think this is a made up story but i stand to let you know that some women are trully passing through these conditions & it is an everyday occurance. the only advice i'd give to these women is that, any thing that causes you anguise & misery, no matter what that thing is, it's not worth risking your health & life for, please find the courage to pull out & start life again, it's never too late.
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